


Have You Been Crying?

by androgynousclintbarton



Series: Random Prompts [7]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: M/M, Nazi mention, Post- Fall of SHIELD, Upset Nick Fury
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-27
Updated: 2016-05-27
Packaged: 2018-07-10 13:38:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6987274
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/androgynousclintbarton/pseuds/androgynousclintbarton
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's the 2nd anniversary of the fall of SHIELD, and Nick is not handling it well.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Have You Been Crying?

                “You don’t look well,” Nick glanced up and smiled weakly when he saw Phil standing at the door. “Have you been crying?”

                “Am I not supposed to?” His voice cracked when he tried to speak, and he grasped Phil’s old ranger’s shirt a little bit closer to himself so that he could bury his face in it and give himself an excuse to stop talking.

                “Well,” Phil thought about what he was going to say for a moment, deciding that it was better not to push the subject. Instead, he took a few steps closer to the bed and sat himself down on the edge carefully, not wanting to crowd Nick when he was obviously so upset. “What’s on your mind?”

                “It’s nothing…” the older man grumbled behind his t-shirt, hoping that the soft grey fabric would muffle his words so that Phil wouldn’t hear him. Unfortunately, he appeared to be out of luck. Rather than letting Nick shut him out, Phil reached forward and gripped the top of his old t-shirt, pushing it down so that it was no longer coving Nick’s mouth. “It’s just…it’s been 2 years…”

                A frown made its way onto Phil’s face, wiping away any hints of a smile that he had before hand while he tried to figure out what Nick was going on about. “2 years…” he muttered to himself, searching his memories for a hint of what exactly Nick meant.

                Suddenly, his attention was pulled away by a soft, bitter chuckle that was coming from Nick. “You’ve been too busy to remember” Anyone else would have thought that Nick was angry at him for forgetting whatever it was that he was talking about, but Phil could hear the sadness in his voice. A sadness that he only heard when Nick was upset that someone was forgetting a piece of their past. The same sadness he had heard the first time Clint had asked them to explain Passover to him.

                “Oh…” it dawned on him suddenly, pulling away any of the happiness he had been holding onto that day “2 years…already?”

                “Time goes by when you’re having fun.” The bitterness stayed in Nick’s voice even as he tried to cover his mouth with Phil’s old ranger’s shirt again.

                Not knowing what else to do, Phil maneuvered himself closer to Nick carefully, watching for any signed that Nick didn’t want him to continue. Instead, he found himself being watched carefully by the other man, who was currently attempting to hide as much of himself as he possibly could behind the small grey fabric in his hands.

                As soon as he was close enough, Phil wrapped his arms around Nick’s shoulders and pulled him close so that Nick could hide his face in his chest. Almost as soon as the other man had managed to hide his face, Phil could feel his entire body starting to shake as he finally let all of his guards drop.

                “It’s ok.” he whispered soothingly, running his fingers down Nick’s back while he held onto him as tightly as he could without hurting him.

                “I hate everything,” Nick’s sobs were still a new experience to Phil, even after years of being together. It wasn’t often that the older man let himself cry, no matter how upset he was. The only other time Phil had seen him this upset was when his father had passed away, and he could only guess who was the one to find Nick after Phil had died. “Can we find a time machine?”

                “As much as I adore the image of you punching Pierce in his creepy HYDRA mouth and kicking all of them out of SHIELD, I’m afraid we don’t have time travelling technology yet.” Where he was hoping to bring even a tiny smile to Nick’s face, Phil was instead greeted with more tears. He couldn’t blame Nick for being so upset, even 2 years later and after a lot of work on both of their parts at bringing SHIELD back. SHILED had meant everything to Nick, even more than the Rangers had.

                “I don’t just want to punch him,” Nick grumbled into his chest, tears still streaming down his cheek “I want to burn them from the inside out. They couldn’t handle helping to kill millions of innocent people in World War II, they had to try again and they had to take SHIELD down with them. My work, Peggy Carters work…all of the work that loyal and good SHIELD agents put in to protect people was wasted on a HYDRA cover up.”

                “That’s not the part that has you upset…” murmured Phil, his fingers making figure eights on Nick’s back in a poor attempt to give him some comfort.

                “No…” burying his face into Phil’s chest, Nick grunted in protest of talking any more about the topic.

                “I won’t force it,” Assured Phil, his fingers dancing across Nick’s back “But if it’s upsetting it you should at least admit it to yourself.”

                “Two years later and it’s still hard to believe…” Nick whispered, moving back far enough so that he could look up at Phil “the fact that I called any of these people friends… that any of them gained my trust. I’m so careful with my trust.”

                “But they won it, from more than just you.” Explained Phil “They won it from you, and Maria, and Peggy Carter, and Natasha and Clint. All people who hand out trust only when you prove that you deserve it. Who are so guarded with their hearts that it’s hard for them to trust anyone.” Bringing his hand up, Phil cupped the older man’s cheek gently and tilted his head up so that he was looking at him a bit better “they tricked us all Nick. They gained our trust, our friendship, and they slipped up n such tiny ways that we barley noticed.”

                “I should have known better…” Nick attempted to turn his eyes away, unable to look at his husband at that moment. Rather than letting him, Phil kept his hand firmly in place and leaned down to press their foreheads together “I figured it out too late.”

                “No one is perfect Marcus,” Phil assured him with a soft tone “Not even the amazing Director Fury is perfect, we all got played and you can’t blame this just on yourself.”

                “I sure feel like it’s my fault…” casting his eyes downwards, Nick took a deep breath in and sighed, trying to get rid of some of the pain and hurt that he was feeling. “A lot of people died…even after we stopped ‘Project insight’”

                “You’ve always known that was part of the job.” Phil reminded him while he used a thumb to clear away some of the tears. “We all signed up for this job, and even if this was a surprise attack that no one was expecting, we all knew the risks.”

                Nodding his head, Nick turned his face in Phil’s hand and closed his eyes, attempting to drown away all of his sorrows in the soft touch of his husband’s hand against his face.

                “We’ll kick their ass’ for what they did Nick. You, me, Melinda, Daisy and everyone else. We’re going to make them pay for what they did to SHIELD, to our agents and to the countless people they have hurt before SHIELD existed up until today.” Watching the other man nod his head, Phil gave him a tender smile when he looked up at him after a few moments. “We’ll tears HYDRA down, one creepy Nazi section at a time if we have to.”

                “Can I punch one of them?” Asked Nick.

                “How about 20? I think that might make you feel a little better.” Seeing a smile tugging at the other man’s lips, Phil chuckled “I thought that might do the trick.”

                “I like the way you think Cheese,” announced Nick, laying himself down over Phil’s lap and holding his T-shirt close “But we’re staying in bed for a while. I’m not going outside with blood shot eyes.”

                “Never thought you would.” Leaning back in his spot, Phil smiled down at the other man and watched as he buried his face in his shirt again “I…am I getting that shirt back?”

                “I’m a wounded man here Cheese,” protested Nick as he held the shirt close to his chest “you can just take away my cooping mechanism.”

                “right, of course.” He held up his hands and chuckled, watching as Nick turned onto his side so that he could hide his face in his stomach again “wouldn’t want you to give up something that make’s you happy.”

                “Good, because you’re not going anywhere.” before he could ask what Nick was talking about, Phil found himself being tackled down to the bed by the other man. “you’re my best cooping mechanism.”

                Rather than responding with words, Phil surged upwards and crashed his lips against Nick’s, enjoying the tiny squeak of protest that left the other man’s throat at the sudden kiss. Nick wasn’t going to stay happen for long and Phil knew that better than anyone, but he was going to do his best to keep a smile on his face for as long as he could before they both had to go back to work.


End file.
